I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
