i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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