Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
