Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
