Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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