I hate your face
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
