normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
