just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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