pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
