I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
