I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
