Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
