Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
