We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
