I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
