I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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