I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
