why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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