Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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