I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize