just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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