how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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