My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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