by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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