Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
