I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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