This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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