How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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