By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
