just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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