VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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