You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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