a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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