dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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