At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
