a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
