I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
