I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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