...so i touched it.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize