If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
There are leaves in my underwear?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
