so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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