Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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