She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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