just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
