I could have mohawked her pubes.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
is that a dick in a sweater?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
