i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
