I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
is this the sara with the beer cane?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I currently don't understand fingers.
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