Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
