How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Text me some of your sweat
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
