I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
