I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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