Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
