Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
