oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
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