looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Floor bacon is actually really good
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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