she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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